Love anew
by kittylover93
Summary: All four of the Cullen men have memories of women that they have loved and lost. What happens when the new girl that comes to Forks reminds them of the women they lost. Why does she look like them and what could happen? Please read better than the summary sounds. Rated m for later just in case there is a need for it to be m.


**Okay all here is my newest story and I would like to say this first chapter is dedicated to dracolover113 for working my shift today. Now for a few things you need to know about this story first off everyone has a mate...Edward's is Tanya. All gifts besides Carlisle's control and Jasper's empathy is out. It would not be so fun if Alice could see what was going to happen or for Edward reading everyone's minds. Also would like to state that the name Victoria will appear but no she is not Jame's Victoria. Well hope you like it. **

CPOV

I have been on this planet for many years now. Many of those years I have been a vampire and the few that were human fade, if not disappear. In these vampire years I have found a partner but my heart will always remember her. She was my love for many years of my human life. Her name was Katherine Baker. She was the world's most lovely woman. We spent most of our late teens and earlier twenties together. She had been the one I was going to ask to marry me. After I became the monster I am I had to leave her behind.

After many years of being alone and then creating Edward I found Esme. She would never mount up to the amount that I have held close to me for my dear Katherine. For some reason Katherine was one part of my human life I could not and would not forget. Esme does not realize but at some points in time I pull out my little sepia colored photo of her and just get lost in the memories. Sometimes when I look at the photo of her I can almost see those blue eyes of her's staring back at me.

Some of the things most people do not really think about. I mean the sound of her heartbeat could sooth any savage beast. Even as a human I could always here the little skips of her heart when I would put my head on her shoulder. Then there was the way her beautiful brown eyes would change slightly with her moods. The way her hair was always so neatly put up. I still laugh at the speed she could put all her hair up into that perfect bun. Although there were the times she would have her hair down and it stretched down to the middle of her back.

I had planned on asking Katherine to marry me the week that I lead my first big vampire hunt. Well my hunt had gone wrong and I became what I hunted. I knew I would not be able to be near my beloved Katherine, so I fled. It broke my dead heart to leave her behind, but I would not be the cause of her death. I found out many decades later that she had contracted the bubonic plague. To be honest I think that the reason why I went into medicine was not to help people as I have told my family but the need to figure out how I could have saved my dear Katherine.

Do not misunderstand me. I do love Esme, but Katherine will always be the woman I loved and lost. If she leaves is one thing but to loose her like that is horrid. Esme is the one that holds away the pain but can never be the full cure to my heartache.

Everyday I go to work I think about Katherine for just a moment before I start working. I am not really sure why I do this but it just seems to make my day feel just that much better. Some days are hard because out of everything about my human life I wish to forget she is the one thing I can not. People say things get better with time but this pain has only gotten worse the longer I am away from her. Some days the pain is so horrid because I know that I will continue on through time without her. For now I continue my existence and pray that if one day I am ever killed or this existence should end I will see her again.

JPOV

Those in my family know of how I was changed but they do not understand why I pull away from them all. The truth of why I really stay away from everyone. The memories are engraved in my mind. Memories of my family and friends had faded quickly with my time in Maria's army, but I can not forget her. Her name was Elizabeth Jones. She was the love of my life and we were going to be married when I came back from the war. I had promised I would come back to her.

Then I ran into Maria and the other two. They changed me and at first I ran from them. I ran back to my human life in hopes that if I ignored it that everything would be the same. I went to her house and knocked on her window. It was late at night and she happily opened the window. I can still hear her voice in my head, "Jasper! Oh my goodness. Come in here."

I climbed through her window. It was late at night but she still looked so beautiful with her hair all messed up from sleeping. Her eyes were the brightest green I had ever seen them. She threw her arms around me. She didn't even see the difference in my eyes because of how dark it was. When Elizabeth hugged me I put my forehead on her shoulder. When she hugged me her jugular was right near my nose. I had yet to feed. The smell of her blood called to me and I could not resist the call.

Before I could even fully understand what I was doing I had drained my beloved Elizabeth. What made it worse was that once her lifeless body fell from my hands I could hear her the slowed hear the slowed beats of her parents down the hall. I moved slowly even by human standards. It could only be described as a lion stalking its prey. I drained them just as quickly.

When I was finished I walked back to Elizabeth's room. She was still lying on the floor. The way her hair was spread out around her with her eyes closed someone would have thought she was sleeping and dreaming a happy dream. I stroked her cheek and hoped that she would open her eyes. When that did not work I prayed that it was all a horrid nightmare. I had to realize that this was not a nightmare. I was the nightmare. I held her in my arms for a long while with the venom tears in my eyes that I found would never fall.

After what could have been hours I heard a noise from the window. I looked to the still open window and perched there was my creator. She told me that I was the monster now, but I could find a purpose in her army. She told me that it was up to me whether I went with her or not. When she left the window I placed Elizabeth back on the bed. I took her engagement ring off her finger and place it in my pocket and followed Maria.

The following decades I spent in Maria's army. I let the hatred of myself fuel myself during the battle. Every vampire I faced I saw as myself that night I killed my beloved Elizabeth. That and my gift of emotions is what made me such a formidable opponent. With the battle never ending I was able to take my rage out on others and my gift was what won Maria many of those wars. When the time came my gift also helped me to understand the love my two and only friends shared to escape the world that I knew.

Years later I left Maria's army. One day I stopped at a little cafe and ran into Alice. We spent years roaming around the country. Then the day came when we ran into a group of vampires that led a different lifestyle. They invited us into their coven with open arms.

I enjoy our new lives with the Cullens, but I will never forgive myself for what I did to Elizabeth. Nobody in the house knows about Elizabeth besides Alice. Even though Alice knows of her, she will not understand the pain I go through _every _day. This is the punishment I must suffer through.

Edward POV

I knew this girl back when I died. Her name was Victoria Reyna and she meant the world to me. We did not date but I took too much time to ask her out. She was so pretty and so ahead of our time even if by a few years. For the last few years of school she wore her hair in a bob style. The way her hair cupped her face right below her ears was so adorable. Her eyes were so wonderful. They were this grayish color. They could drag my attention away from all the way across the room. She was so lively that you could not help but love her.

Alas the saying that the good die young really does fit her life. She got sick right about the time that my father got sick. When we would visit him in the hospital I would see her lying just a few beds away from my father. I remember seeing her one day while I was visiting my father. The light in those gray eyes of her's had gone out. Her eyes were not the bright color that made me smile. They were dark to the point they were almost black. Her dark brown hair held no shine. If I had not known it was Victoria I was sure that I would not be able to recognize her.

After my father died and my mother and I took his place it was not long after when Victoria died. From there my mother died and left me by myself to die. That was when Carlisle changed me. He did it so that he could have a companion but part of me wishes he let me die with her. I remember watching the first snow storm of that year. I was a vampire but I still found beauty in the falling snow. I remember one night at dusk when there was enough light to see for a human but dark enough so that the snow did not look white. The snow looked as gray as her eyes when she was alive. As the sun went down more and more the snow became the color of her eyes as she got sick. My heart breaks every time there is a snow storm and the sun goes down on that first day. Her eyes will forever be described in my heart as an eternal snow storm at dusk. Tanya does not understand why during those snow storms I go out for a hunt. In truth I steal away moments sitting in a far away tree thinking about those final weeks. I had a feeling that she had liked me but it was something that I would never know for sure.

Emmett POV

Everyone has the one that got away but mine is the one that was taken away. My story of Marilyn Lewis is short but tragic. Marilyn and I hadn't been going out long when I asked her to go out on a hike with me. That hike changed my life forever, and ended her life.

I had asked Marilyn to go out with me because she was just the kind of girl I loved. She was the type of girl who was quiet. She had that beauty where it was just subtle and she did not even really see it in herself. She was not so much into the men stuff but I was fine with that because she loved to go on hikes in the woods to see the animals. I always said she was like a creature of the forest. Her eyes were even the color of the forest trees. They were a hazel color that made my heart melt.

I had planned on having lunch in a little grove that had a natural spring so you could hear the water. Animals tend to come there so I knew she would love it. The weather was just starting to warm up but my mistake was that I forgot about the bears coming out of hibernation. We had taken some good food to eat and the smell must have gotten the attention of a family of bears.

When the bears came upon us we threw the food toward them. I think the bits of food we had left only made them hungrier. They started toward us. I put Marilyn behind me so that they would have to go through me first. Unfortunately that was their plan. The bigger of them who had been near the cubs went after me. She put her teeth into my leg and pulled. My leg was almost ripped off and I fell to the ground. I looked and saw Marilyn watching me in horror. I told her to go and get out of there. She started to run but the bear must have wanted the challenge. The bear left me alone for a moment and went after her. I could not close my eyes as I watched the bear catch up with her easily and start to tear her apart.

Once she was dead another bigger bear went and started to drag me towards its den. They drug me quite a bit farther and even past Marilyn's body. That was the last time I cried. Her eyes were still wide with horror. The bear continued to hurt me and drag me. I tried to fight the bear but I knew I was going to die. That was when Rose came to my rescue.

Rosalie carried me back to a man. The whole time she carried me I kept going in and out of consciousness. When I came back and stayed there I saw a blond hair man who was coming toward me. That was when I started to burn. I burned for three days.

Now I love to go in the woods because I think of her. I love to hunt bears not because it was what almost killed me but because that was what took Marilyn away from me. That is why when I can I will take down a bear or two. Those are the moments when I think most of her. I will always blame myself for her dying. If I had not drug her up there she would have lived. I am with Rose because she is the nothing like Marilyn and that's what I need.

Third person pov

They all state the words, "Her memory is my curse."

**Okay that is the first chapter. It is not that long but the story has to start somewhere. Dracolover113 I hope you loved it. Also thank you for working for me today. You won't have to tomorrow though promise. Well please leave a review and let me know what you think. **


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